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 Post subject: Chatter
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 5:24 pm 

Two good friends since high school have just finished their junior year at the University, and they are currently about to meet in the quad for the first time since finals ended a few days ago.

One friend is very excited to talk about his tape machine, however, originally, he had been more excited to tell his good friend that during this past semester at the University, he received straight A’s! He received an “A” in Calculus, an “A” in Beatles, and an “A” in upper division Statistics.

The other friend needed to work late the previous night, and he is looking forward to hearing from his good friend about the party that he had missed.

Sup Mang?

Bad news dude.


Your uncle’s record player broke.

No prob, man.

Good news dude.


The thrift store around the corner is having a big sale and I, like, bought, instead, like, a tape player.

Whaaat? Say you didn’t.

Back at the pad, I hooked up an old tape player from the thrift store and it works!,well… sort of.

What! You didn’t buy a record player? They have them for one hundred dollars at the music store downtown, y’know.

Yeah, but hey!, it was ninety-nine cents!

That’s cool… Sorry that I didn’t make that party last night, as I had to work late. Did you drink beer?

Just a couple… but wait ‘til I tell you about my senior thesis! I’ve decided for sure what it will be.

I’m listening.

It’s called the mystery of the glass onion.

Right on. Tell me all about it. I know you’ve been waiting for the best topic for your senior thesis. I’m all ears, man.



I think that somebody spiked my beer last night.


I heard weird voices while listening to beatles music late late last night.

That makes sense, but you usually just, like, down a beer or two. Right? Who would have spiked your beer?

It doesn’t make sense, but the truth is that I heard beatles lyrics that weren’t taught in the beatles class.

Professor jones is way cool.

Totally.I wrote down some lyrics from the beatles tape that came with the player.

Oooooh, very interesting!

Yeah! I know, right?! Ok okok – here it goes … … the songs revolution nine and a day in the life … … are about the exact same thing! That, my friend, is the mystery of the glass onion!

No way!!

It’s the truth!

So, like,…uhh…, what is truth, really?

It’s all relative.

Like my uncle?

Haha, No, uh… I mean, like, oh yeah, um… wait wait… I read it somewhere- yeah, like, truth is, like… aw, where’d I hear it from … that three peeps can see the exact same truth differently based on their respective morals or, like, whatever their, uh, own vision of peace and love and sunrises… something like that.

Pace! So, like, peace, uh, different morals – same truth. Who said that?

Charlie sheen!


Um, or maybe it was martin sheen.

Or Emilio Estevez



OK, so, like I took a couple notes so I can explain it to you.

I think I can take one more day of beatle babble from you, but remember that finals are over and my head needs a rest.

Got it, yo. Ok, so think of those old telephones with a rotary dial… so like, maybe, like in the movie help has a phone like that, uh, like, yeah… uh, revolution nine is referring to dialing nine – nine – nine, then you will like totally get that lennon went through chaostrying to save paul. That was a daythat some won’t ever forget nor mention ever. It is a sad sad feeling to think that that original wonderful face and person called paulmccartney never got to be that guy who got married and live happily ever after. He had most every young lady adore him, but he was really, maybe, sort of, like not his…really but maybe, he was … likeunalerted, perverted, diverted, inverted, and controlled.

You’re beginning to freak me out, dude.

At the end of revolution nine, we hear, of course, block that kick. This is a soccer game, where there is a penalty kick taking place.

I think that there is a good basketball game on right now. I wonder…

If the truth about the beatles is found out, then the glass onion is shattered.




Shattered.The glass onion shattered. Like to shatter, shatter, break, … you get it. Anyways, scoring a goal is the same as figuring it out.

Nicks and lakers.

At the end of the song from anthology, the glass onion shatters when the goal is scored.

Ringo Starr likes glass onions? Oh, I get it,ringo cooks with onions and needs to wear glasses when he cooks, so like, he is the onion cooker with glasses. Mystery solved, yo.

Uh, no… When lennon saw the two photographs – the one of ogpaul in october1966 and the one of William sheers Campbell from the 1965 dick clark look-alike contest…

Campbell’s soup? I didn’t even take the class, and I get it.

… he just had to laugh because they looked exactly alike. Lanky sheers was the lucky man who made the grade!

Yeah, you got good grades this past semester, I can tell. But Maybe...

Look … oh boy.

Klondike bars are good at anytime, except maybe breakfast.

Uh, that army is like winning the war is … uh… Klondike bar? Is there a Klondike bar vending machine nearby?

Yeah, but they turned it off.

But it’s hot!

Yeah, but d’ain’t no student here now, is there?

I lost my train of thought.

Spiked beer?

Oh yeah, I’d love to turn you on is john’s way of telling us that he’d love to tell us what’s going on, alas, he cannot.

I will call a shrink for you in the morning.

A day in the life was banned from radio, like maybe not like they say… it was maybe ‘cause because it told of that day. It explains what just may have happened per rumors during that like one time when you know like they say, uh, no, like… what I mean is, that time between revolver and peppers, there may have been a car wreck, like, the peppers drum mirrored tells us maybe, like, - you know what I mean?

Uh… huh huhhuh… uh… like, I dreamed that I was in school last night, so like, does that count as attendance?

Perhaps mister campbell was hypnotized and remembers nothing of his original life when he went upstairs in the double decker bus when everybody spoke?

You can’t you won’t and you don’t stop!

Nothing, go on. I’m listening.

Ok. Four thousand holes tween blackburned&lanky sheers refers to the four thousand small, yet significant, things that must be done to be sure campbell doesn’t get found out…. Making sure that beatles continue to exist and make records.

Good will has a good selection of records.

Look at john’s record from 1974 and paul’s bro’s record from the same year. Lennon has some quote about a silent conspiracy, and mike’s got this dude roped up and tied down on his cover.

*sigh* this is crazy dude – are you done?

Uh, yeah, sorry, I’m almost done. Um… let’s see what else from that revolution nine song I heard… um, yeah, there is a bit between his shoulder blades. We hear number thirty mentioned twice in the song – could be from that soccer game tape mix. We hear the words personality complex and onion soup. Check it out dude!... the beatles did not put hidden messages in their music for their fans, no – they put the hidden messages in their music for themselves!

And they had their beers spiked, too, huh?

Ha ha. Almost done here… revolution nine is composed as a musical rendition of lennon’srecurring nightmare from his best friend’s death. He had no way to put these memories somewhere else than in his own mind. Poor yoko had no idea.

I like yoko.

Me too.

What else?

Ok, check out the inside of the white album record cover and the apparent autopsy photo of the opdpaul – see that some of his chin hair may have been burnt off?

Was his nose intentionally whited out because it had been burned? Also, we hear in revolution nine about a headmaster reporter and we hear about a nightwatchdude or something like that…


uh, oh yeah likeonly to find the nightwatchman unaware of his presence in the building. We hear someone saying phoned him on the third night, unfortunately he was… and who is mrswelch? What does a shortage of grain mean? Crazy.

*sigh* Okay, big guy, so tell me how it feels to have discovered the mystery of the glass onion?

Wow! Wow, um, like… oh, I know! I guess Kenobi when he found kamino.

I get it. Can we go?

Just a couple more minutes. Remember? Senior thesis? Hello?

Go ahead. I still think that you drank more than just beer last night.

It’s not what you think.

It’s snot from your nose.

Give me a break, please don’t say that joke anymore… it’s…

Sorry, this semester took a long long time for everybody.


Ok – one last thing.

Okay – fine.

I think I actually figured out who the walrus really was!



Steve buscemi

Oh right, haha.

I think I get it now. It all makes perfect sense! Wasn’t that walrus song written about that shakespeare play and later became a paperback written by a man named king lear? That’s it! I solved the mystery! King lear! C’mon, man, give king lear a chance!

Dude, come on, forget about it.


What is leer?

Uh, … Leer! Leer! Leer! And last night someone spiked your beer! Beer! Beer!

Dude, that guy over there is beginning to leer at us. Let’s bail.


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